Already August

This summer is blowing by so fast, and I can count the beautiful days (in terms of weather) we've had on two hands. That being said, today is gorgeous outside. And I'm in here on the computer. Why? I just barely get any time these days. Life gets in the way. Work is busy, we had company for three weeks. And now puppies!! Little Basset hound puppies, that take all my free time.

 You'll have to forgive me, but I'm a little obsessed. They are the cutest thing ever, but I feel for all the real mothers out there, and the lack of sleep they get. I'm not complaining, but I haven't slept in 7 days!

However, life is getting back to normal - although won't completely until late September. I'm back at eating healthy, with no 'plan' intact, but managing. I've got a month until my cruise to Alaska, and I want to look hot, and possibly fit into the few 'formal' outfits I have. I'm back at the gym - doing a sort of 'body for life' routine, which encompasses running every other day, and weights in between. That is how I really got into shape to begin with, and that's what I need now. Some stability in the form of a routine. That, accompanied by my normal 5-10km walks daily, and eating properly (with the exception of one 'free meal' a week) and hopefully I'll be down to a happy size by the end of the month. While I won't be the 'waif' I dream of being anytime soon - I'm optimistic that I will at least be comfortable. I'm not that uncomfortable now - after a week of eating somewhat decent and working out again. Nice to be back on track.

Hope all my beautiful bloggers out there are doing well. I'll be catching up today!!

Things to Come....???

I have to apologize for being such a bad blogger!! I miss it. I miss writing, and I miss reading and hearing about everyone's life. I miss this world. But with guests, and work, and the first hot days of the year - it's difficult to sit down and write for even five minutes.

My in-laws are still here, and leaving tomorrow. Their company has been wonderful. I finally got a chance to take in some of Nova Scotia from a tourist's point of view. Lunenburg, Pete's Vineyard, Tall Ship Silva, And the food, glorious food, of this wonderful land! My hubby has a very boring palate, so I've got to indulge my cooking fetish with his parents. We've had such things as rhubarb french toast, nectarine and strawberry crisp, chicken chow mein, zucchini/banana bread, and the most glorious wines. It was our anniversary and they bought us three great bottles of french wine. And for those who haven't tried Pete's Ortega wine (in NS) please purchase and bring to lips as soon as possible.

So, as you can see - I haven't been very conscious of what I've been eating (in terms of amounts anyhow) and drinking (amounts again - we've been fairly conscious of the quality!). And as for working out, beyond two runs, and my normal daily 5-10Km walks - I haven't exercised AT ALL! And pleasantly enough, I've only gained about 3 pounds. I'm completely happy/euphoric about that. I feel so lucky!!

Tomorrow is my birthday. The big 3-4. There will be one final celebration, and then I'm back to the grind. I'm going to be super-duper health conscious so I can detoxify and get back to feeling healthy again. And then I've got my Alaskan cruise in September - so it's a date to look at and attempt to do something by.

Hope everyone is doing well! I'll be catching up on the blogs shortly!!

H

Busy Time of Year

It is so difficult to make time for something that isn't what some people consider COMPLETELY necessary. Like keeping a blog. Work is insane lately, although good, and productive. So many people on vacation, so there is more work to be done. I'm working lots of overtime (less by choice than necessity), and have very little time.

That being said, my in-laws arrived from NZ on Friday. It has been a (wonderful) whirlwind since. The food is somewhat out the window, but have managed to keep meals healthy, and threw in the wine. Smile.

On Friday night, We had (turkey) bacon wrapped scallops and a big salad. Then strawberry shortcake for dessert. Not to bad. And some Chilean Red wine.

Yesterday I made banana pancakes for breakie. Then we went to a movie in the late afternoon, and popcorn was enjoyed, but not too much.
For dinner I made African Peanut Soup, which is absolutely to die for. And very healthy!

Today, I had to sleep in, as I work tonight, so I haven't eaten yet. Not sure what I'll have just yet. Maybe some good old protein! Eggs and Oatbran perhaps? Maybe.

Hope everyone is great and having a wonderful weekend!! I'll check back in when I can!

Touching Base

I'm crazy busy again. Just touching base to keep myself in the habit of blogging something. Someday, my life may be normal, and I will have a good solid amount of time to blog. Honestly, I can't imagine how people function when they have a full time job and children. This whole 'grown up' thing sucks. 

Today I had an insanely busy day, and although it was very productive - it may all have been for nought. I won't get into details, but I feel like I just built something to be proud of, but there was one faulty piece of material, and it all fell away. I won't dwell. Tomorrow is another day. 

Workouts: Just Core Synergistic X - as I had to go to work an hour early, and there was no way I was getting up that early.

Meals: 

Breakfast: OatBran and some raisins and one egg

Lunch: Loaded Salad and Senganese Soup

Dinner: Not eaten. Salad? 

Snacks: Rice cakes, cheese

Everything is healthy, but in no way representing any 'form' of eating. I call it 'normal'. 

I suppose I didn't eat any meat. There's something!! I did eat an egg though. 

What am I trying to do? I have no idea. I need a check point. Maybe my inlaws will bring something to the table. 

Do you ever feel...

like your weight won't change, no matter what you do?

Sometimes I feel as though fate is trying to tell me something. 

I realize, I'm not perfect in my diet. But I also realize that I eat pretty well 90% of the time. And when I do indulge, it's not on cheezies, chips, chocolate bars, processed foods. 

That is rare. And still, it's only eating my 'treats' is only 10% of my life. 

On a whole, I exercise more than most people. Some of it is walking. Some of it running (not so much lately), and some of it is hard core workouts. But it is everyday. Minus, maybe one day a week (when I probably still walk!). 

My weight seems to like where it is, which is just on the high end of a healthy bmi. But I'm not happy with this size. I don't consider it too look good. I think I would look horrible in a bathing suit (not to mention my pasty white skin, which is calling for the sun like someone shut away in a cave for years and years on end). 

I'm not depressed, or even crazy today. I just feel like sighing. 

My in-laws are coming in a week's time. I want to look/feel good when they do arrive. No, I don't want to drop 10 pounds in a week, but I want to feel like I did - if you know what I mean. Right now, my gut feels heavy. 

Yesterday, I ate primarily raw. But I did have some gluten-free bread. And then for dinner, I had a low-fat chicken burger as well. Neither of these are horrible things. But why on earth do I feel so fat this morning? 

What will it take to 'feel' thin at the end of this week? A week of strict raw? A week of protein and veggies? Who knows. But I will try.

Remember the days when you'd drink a bottle of wine, and feel thin the next morning while eating eggs and bacon a the local greasy spoon? What happened to those days????

Busy busy busy

Breakfast: Grapes, banana
Snack: boiled egg (not raw, but my tummy was upset, and I didn't want fruit or veggies)
Lunch: salad and veggies
Snack: coffee w/ soy milk times two and a date square (doh!)
Dinner: Salad
Snack: Some almonds and dates

Workout: 5Km walk to work
Yoga P90X

So tired now, and haven't eaten dinner yet. Yawn!!

Quick Update On Eats

Meal Log: 
Breakfast: Banana, blueberries, Strawberries
Snack: Date Square (what??!!!)
Lunch: Salad (cucs, pepper, sprouts, spinach, cabbage, carrots, raisins, craisins, seeds)
Snack: grapes and blueberries, apple
Snack: Some dates and almonds (which I shared, so not as many as usual)
Dinner: Salad (same as lunch) plus asparagus maybe....

Workout:
5Km walk to work
1 hour Shoulders, Triceps, Chest P90X - killer workout, so many push-ups!!!

Busy, busy, busy....

I was thinking "Hide the Peanut Butter" or "Don't Offer Me Chocolate" for blog titles, but not sure...still thinking lots...

Mondays are Daunting....

Mondays are always a killer for me, although once they are over, I feel wonderful.
Getting up was difficult, and work was a killer, in terms of all the things I had to get done. Sometimes I forget that I am an adult, and have to deal with responsibility. Or maybe I try to forget. I miss the days of no mortgages, no bills, no deadlines, sleeping in till noon. My job is fairly demanding, in terms of being an adult. I don't have a 'boss' really, but the work still has to get done, or I'll be up S$% creek. That means I have to keep myself in order, and make sure I perform. I love dealing with patients, and analyzing. What I don't like is the arranging appointments and scheduling things in a fashion that makes sense. I've never been good at organizing, and I find it very intimidating. I'm the girl who's house is tidy, but do not dare open that closet. Scariness. Anyhow, Monday is over.

As for changing the name of the blog - it's a go. A few comments that I agree with put into perspective. I don't want to mislead anyone, although I  do hope some dukaners will check out my recipes, and I also hope the dukaners that follow my blog will continue, as I love to check out their blogs as well. I guess if I have 'dukan' in the recipe title, than a google search will still bring them here. And I apologize to anyone who was searching for a blog that is 'currently dukan' - but you can always check out the first few months of 'dukandoittoo' to see how I did on the diet, why it wasn't for me, the pros and the cons. I hope you do that.
In the meantime, please ignore the blog title, while I work on coming up with a new name:) Give me a bit of time, and it will be changed.

Today's Eats:
Breakfast: strawberries, blueberries and one banana (about 1/2 cup of berries total)
Snack: Watermelon
Lunch: Salad (pepper, sprouts, cucumber, cabbage, carrot, spinach, seeds)
Snack: 1/2 cup berries and some almonds
Dinner: Another big salad, and some bbq-ed asparagus.

Exercise: 
5Km walk to work
3Km run around the graveyard at lunch
45 minutes CardioX

Also had a senna tea, a coffee w/ soy, and one green tea plus copious amounts of water.
Altogether, we'll say 90% raw.

Dukandoittoo????

So I suppose I may consider changing the name of my blog....not sure.
Most of my google search audience comes from Dukan related search input....and I know that there are some recipes that are Dukan, and I'm sure there will be more, in that you can always eat veggies on Dukan, and I hope to soon post some dishes. I'm so lazy when it comes to taking pictures of my food (although always happy afterwards, when I do do it). I like to hear about all the dukaners out there, and see how they are doing....I think the diet works...but eating so much meat was just not for me. It really turned me off, eating copious amounts of meat constantly. Mind you, I could eat dukan brownies until I die. Haha.

So, what do you think? Should I change the name?

I don't even know how to go about doing that....

Anyhow, I digress. This weekend has been a whirlwind. Yesterday, I went to the farmer's market with a friend. I tried some raw chocolate (which was amazing) and bought some asparagus - which I will not eat raw, but that's quite fine by me. Then we went down to the water and ate at the 'Hart and Thistle' - definitely no raw there. We shared a big salad and a pizza (also not raw) - Mediterranean toppings. Delicious. I also had one of their microbrews, which was delicious. Citrus flavoured. Yum. And then I had some vodka with lemon and water with my hubby when I arrived home. I've been way to indulgent lately, but feel good. I'm not gaining weight, but I'm not losing either.

My inlaws are coming from NZ in two weeks, which puts the pressure on cleaning the house, and also getting myself in order a wee bit! I'd like to be able to prepare yummy dishes for them, and cook to impress. I'll try to get them going on the spinach smoothies! I'm working most of the time they are here, but will take a few days off here and there. Hopefully, it will all work out. I'm really looking forward to seeing them, as it's been about 5  years or so, when we went on vacation to Hong Kong and china with them.

That's all for now folks!

What to Say today?

I'm trying to keep in the habit of blogging, regardless of sometimes having a boring life. Today was completely uneventful. Lots of raw food, and a bit of baklava (what??? that wasn't on plan!!). A good salad with nuts, Some fruit. And more salad later. Getting to be pretty routine. This weekend, I'll make something pretty, and photograph it for you!

Workouts: 5Km walk, Core Synergistics. I'm all done for the day:)

I'm doing a week recovery on P90X, so no weights this week. It is not the actual 'recovery week' we're supposed to have, but I'll get right back on track starting Sunday. I just needed a wee break to get back into it. So lots of cardio and core. And Kenpo tomorrow. I'm didn't go for a run today (which I was supposed to). I will in the next few days. It's been so long, I hope I haven't lost i!!

Can you forget how to run????

Hard to Get Back On Track

Hey little birdies, how's it going?

I've been feeling good, and trying to get back on track. It's a slow process!
I was so sleepy from the weekend, that I didn't workout on Monday, then on Tuesday I did a half a$$ workout - but today I finally hit it correctly. I have walked 5K everyday (actually Monday I walked 10K, but walking doesn't do much for me in terms of keeping me at all in shape). It was good to get back in the game. My joints and muscles are so stiff, I'm walking like I'm 80. Blah. Imagine what I'll feel like then!

As for food, same deal. I haven't been eating unhealthy at all, but I'm not back at the raw thing just yet. A few days of gluttony really throws me for a loop. I'm still really bloated and puffy. Yesterday I had subway (not terrible, but not good either - no matter what that guy from the commercials says). Today, one of the doctors took me out for dinner, and I had an amazing meal of 'Caribou Island Asparagus with beet greens and almonds'. It was soooo good, I wish I had my camera with me to show you how pretty it was. Very healthy (not raw - but really - come on!). Otherwise, breakie was raw (banana and blueberries), and dinner will be salad too. I did have two candy lollipops. And I had some of someone's strawberry rhubarb.

Did you know that there was such a thing as 'strawberry rhubarb'? I always thought that 'strawberry rhubarb pie' was just rhubarb and strawberries!! The things you learn!!!

Anyhow, off for dinner. And maybe a bath. But no epsom salts; all out! Boo.

A Weekend of Gluttony

Woah, what a weekend.

I had a beautiful weekend away, back to my hometown. The weather was amazing - literally it was about 15 degrees warmer, and not a cloud in the sky. Gorgeous. Seriously.
I got to see so many friends, family, loved ones. All of which, of course, required food and drinks. And for all of those who feel that life can be celebrated without the previously mentioned fare - well, I have to applaud you. I honestly think I wouldn't have had the time I had, without the beauty of all that food.

Some of the food was very healthy. I made beautiful salads, and we had barbequed meats and veggies. Asparagus like you wouldn't believe. But, there was also cakes, and dips, and caesars, and ice cream. Spread over 5 days. And I don't feel bad. Mind you, I haven't weighed myself, and do not plan to. Yikes. Tomorrow is another day...

Yes, tomorrow is back to the raw food. I'm thinking all raw, with some chicken and fish thrown in from time to time, if I am missing the protein. I tell you, after 10 days raw - my tummy was thrown for a loop. And I completely agree with the whole meat digestion theory behind raw. My belly felt awful. I only ate meat twice. In small portions. I did have my spinach smoothies for breakie, and tried to eat more veggies than anything. But tomorrow - I'm back to eating right.

Everyone needs some sanity in their lives. That was my sanity. I feel sane. Give me a few days....

Drinking Water

I'm on nights right now, so time is of the essence. My father is also in town, so it leaves little time for the internet. But things are going well. Still going raw. Nights were not much of a challenge. They are usually my hardest times, regarding eating. I'm bored, and want food. I brought a huge amount of salad, banana, blueberries, apples, some dates and some nuts. I wasn't overly hungry, but still thought a lot about food. So I guess it comes down to being prepared...which I can say is true for any diet. With the Dukan, I feel like I just didn't want more protein in the middle of the night, so I craved. Fruit and veggies seem to be a good filler at night, not to mention, easier to pick at (cut up veggies can last for hours).

The one thing I'm curious about (and open to opinions!) is drinking water. A lot of raw foodies out there contest that you shouldn't drink water during meals, and that you should not drink more than 30 minutes before a meal, and not for a few hours after. This doesn't leave a lot of time to drink water. And I think that with so much roughage, you need the H20 to soften the process. But then it dilutes digestive enzymes, so that could be wrong. I don't know. I just feel  that in the past, the more water I drank, the more I lost weight. Not that this is completely about losing weight, but let's be honest. I'm more about my looks than saving the environment (sin sin!). Right now, I'm trying not to drink water while I'm eating, but am having it otherwise.

It also makes me wonder about eating meat - would it more important to not drink water while eating, or less? Meat would require more work while digesting ( I hate thinking about that process - meat rotting in your gut). I'm just so (gullible isn't the word)..... I read one thing, and think 'well that makes sense' and then I read something else and I think 'well that makes sense too'. There are so many contradicting opinions out there in the internet, that its hard to say with scientific fact what is right. And as far as asking family doctors go, sometimes I'm surprised at how ignorant they can be. Or as subject to opinions as I can be. I mean, for one, half of them don't really validate sleep apnea (the field in which I work), and I just cannot understand that. They are just not educated enough about the co-morbidiities, and all the severe effects sleep apnea can have on your cardiovascular system. For any of you out there with sleep apnea - Get it treated! It makes such a huge difference in you health, energy levels, weight, everything!

So that's all for now. Gotta do my workout before work. It's pouring rain and windy, so no walking for me. It's CardioX time! Bring it!

Not Really Wanting the Birthday Goodies

Yesterday we had the staff retreat (aka food indulgent 8 hour staff meeting), followed by my hubby's birthday evening. I tell you, there was food out the yinyang. Everything from fresh carrot muffins to the chocolateyest chocolate cake you could possibly imagine. With ice cream.

How did I do? I tell, you I gave myself all the freedom in the world. Eat what I want. And you know what? I didn't really want it. I did partake. I had one of our director's best cookies ever. I had two actually. I ate a pile of fruit, with a bit of granola. I did have a small slice of cake. A few little sandwiches corners. For dinner, with my hubby I indulged in a subway sandwich (I know, what a ridiculous birthday dinner) and a small slice of the White Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake I made him. But I didn't really enjoy any of it. And this was huge for me. I could have completely pigged out/binged (and to some of you, it may seem like I did), but I really just had what I thought I wanted, and then stopped. I had three 'St. Ambroise Apricot beer' (which is too die for by the way - that I could have had more of:). But I never 'stuffed myself' and this morning, I'm completely excited to carry on with the raw food thing. I'm not craving. It did not spike my cravings, or throw me off the wagon. I swear, for the first time in my life - I think I may have found my groove.

The way I'm looking at it is this; On a normal day (everyday, day to day) I will eat raw. This will comprise most of my lifestyle. On the random days where I go to someone's house for dinner, or my hubby wants something special together, I will indulge, and eat at least as close to vegetarian/vegan as I can.  I'm not laying down any restrictions, and just going to go with my gut.

The best thing from this week. My digestive system is working. Better than it has in my memory. Especially yesterday and this morning. My body acted like 'Hey! I don't want this food in me at all' and just got rid of it. Sorry for TMI. But I feel so good about it, and am excited to carry on with this way of living.

There's this part of me that thinks I'm completely full of S$#%. I know that I always get super excited about things, and then when things get tough (in life) I bail. But I'm really not worried, and going to go with how good I'm feeling right now. Carry on with my green smoothies, and amazing veggie/sprout salads. As soon as money comes in, I'm going to buy some kind of food processor or juicer, and try to expand my menu some. I don't feel like this is completely necessary at this time, as I'm completely satisfied at the moment.

So there you go. This is me today. This is hopefully me for a long time now!

Sore Hip Flexors

Ouch!! My hip flexors are killing me. I just want to be either constantly moving, or sitting in the splits with my legs elevated. I don't know if it is from walking so much in crappy shoes, or is it from yoga? Not sure. You'd think yoga would help, but Non! It did not. I'm screaming for epsom salts (and I don't have any....boohoo).

But alas, the day is over. My work is done. Tomorrow is 'retreat day' at work (which is really another word for an 8 hour staff meeting, but with food. No raw tomorrow (or rather, some raw, but some treats as well!). And then my baby's (husband I mean) birthday. I'm making a raspberry cheesecake for his dessert. And now he wants subway. I mean, really - who wants Subway on their birthday. This is the guy that eats sandwiches every day. Why on earth would you want subway? Why not a fancy meal? Or if not fancy, something more hearty at least. Jeesh. But it's his day, so he gets what he wants. He is a man of simple tastes (except when it comes to woman I hope!!).

Just to let you know....raw food still going strong. Feel HIGH, HIGH energy. Skin looking good. Thinking even my hair is softer, but that's because I'm crazy. Did my P90X everyday so far this week. I'm being so disciplined with life I can't recognize myself. Woohoo!!!

Oh, and by the way - to all you P90Xers out there, I DO NOT KNOW how you get through the shoulders/chest/tri workout. I'm almost depleted after the first set of push-ups. Scratch the almost!

4 days, Going Strong

Four days into Raw Food, and I feel great. I feel (and maybe this is WAY to early to say this) that I'm craving less sweets. I guess the fruit is enough for my palate. I've been eating lots of veggies, sprouts, fruit (bananas, strawberries, pineapple) and some nuts for protein. Last night, when dinner time came, I can honestly say I wasn't that hungry. This is big for me. Mind you, had there been a huge pizza in front of me, I'm sure the hunger would have kicked in. That hasn't dissipated just yet. Something tells me a raw pizza would be more difficult to make than the dukan pizza. But, I'm doing well. And then maybe it's because i know that I'm only doing it for a week at first that helps me take it day by day. But I do love the green smoothies. The salads I've been making are out of this world (which makes me wonder why I wasn't more inventive with salads on Dukan. I mean, all I would have had to do is throw the meat in! Mind you, I like the added texture of the nuts, and dried cranberries. It's a nice touch. And sunflower seeds! Yummmm!

Working out is good as always. Yesterday, I was crazy busy and didn't fit in my 'core synergistic' workout. So, I set my alarm for 5am and got my lazy a$$ out of bed and did it this morning. THIS IS A HUGE FIRST FOR ME....and sadly a last:). I don't think I can handle working out that early, unless it was a run or yoga. Anything that requires my muscles to act in a co-ordinated manner - just cannot be done at that ungodly hour. But I did it. I skipped the 'dreya roll' as it was WAY too much for my dizzy brain. But that's okay. I do it every other week no problem, just cannot be done at 5am!

Tonight I have my CardioX, and then a whole lot of work to do. Wish me luck!!

In the Raw

A friend of mine at work has been doing the raw thing for a while now. She is 75% raw, and still eats dinner of cooked veggies with fish or chicken some nights. Honestly, she is positively glowing. While I don't notice that she is much smaller, she is definitely less puffy, and her skin looks radiant. Really radiant.

My diet has lately been consisting of mostly veggies and fruit, along with lots of eggs, egg whites, chicken, and fish (and of  course all those bad little goodies....) - I thought, why not give it a shot for a brief little interval? I really don't think it will do me any harm, and I could consider it a little detox (and in reality, it will just keep me from not derailing completely on baked goods). So, I'm going raw until this upcoming Friday. I'm curious to see if it will make any difference in my skin over short term (which is not really all that bad), and maybe see if it will give me the extra energy she's been raving about. She said she felt better after four/five days - so this is okay. So we shall see. I'm still having 'almond milk' and I'm allowing myself olive oil/balsamic vinegar.  Oh yeah, and coffee. In moderation. And I WILL NOT starve myself, because I already (very well) know the repercussions of doing that! Shut down metabolism, and gain a million pounds!

So today, I had a GREEN SMOOTHIE

Yummy Green Smoothie

I actually had a few of these (or half a blender full - my hubby had the rest). 

Ingredients; 1 banana, 1/2 peach, a few strawberries, 3 cups spinach, almond milk, water

It really is delicious. If you haven't tried spinach in a smoothie, give it a shot! It's such a great way to get your veggies, and it is very filling (with all that added goodness). 

I also had an apple, a cup of 100% blueberry juice (not sure if I like it), 10 almonds, and for dinner I'm having a big salad with mixed greens, cucumbers, red peppers, sunflower seeds, and a few almonds. We'll see how I'm feeling after that, I may have another apple, or berries. I'd like to keep the fruit to the morning. 

I'm also going to start each morning with hot water and some lemon juice. Helps with digestion (and keeps me from gorging on multiple cups of java). 

As for my workouts, they are going splendidly. Still doing P90X everyday - today was Legs and Back. I'm getting stronger, although some days I still feel like I'm going to die. I would like to buy some bands sooner or later, as I think they would be more practical than buying weights.

Oh yes, and one final picture of the CAKE POPS I made for the bake sale (which all sold by the way, minus the ones co-workers ate)....all 88 of them!!!!

Yummy Cake Pops!

A Wasted Hour, I'll Never Get Back

So the psychologist meeting did not go well. It didn't go poorly, it just seemed pointless. The woman was very nice, but I could tell that she was just there to listen, whereas I feel like I need ideas. Her ideas were ideas that I would have thought of in year one of being overweight. Like when I was twelve. I don't think she really understood the fact that I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THINGS, and I'm not completely new to this whole 'self-awareness' business. I don't want to put her techniques down, but I just found it demeaning. Not to mention, you could tell that she would never disagree with anything I said, or challenge it. That just wasn't in her protocol. And in reality, I have friends that I can vent to. And they don't charge $140/ hour. So there you have it.

I'm crazy busy tonight....so I won't delve deeper into that just yet. My eating has been pretty good. I had some chocolate tonight while making cake pops again (just a wee bite). My food was healthy otherwise, and limited to a certain extent. Eggs, banana, tuna, salad, chicken salad, soup..etc.

Today I ran about 4Km and did the CardioX on P90X. I feel good. My tummy is bloated, but otherwise, I'm good to go. Hopefully this weekend, I'll have some downtime, and I will be able to catch up on everyone's blogs, and write some good sh#$t.

Love to all!
H

A Gorgeous day for a walk!!

What a nice surprise to see the sun the last few days...it makes me smile. It really has turned everyone into a blissful person it seems. Smiles all around - so fantastic, especially for a Monday!!

My eats: 
Breakfast: Greek Yogurt and blueberries and a piece of raisin toast (I know!)
Lunch: Vegetable soup w/ can of tuna added,
Snack: More blueberries and yogurt
Snack: Cottage cheese and cucumber
Dinner: Turkey sausage w/ veggies

My workout:
10Km walk (to and from work, 5 each way)
Core Synergistics - LOVE THIS WORKOUT!!

Tomorrow I am going to see a psychologist. I did it. I bit the bullet. I'm done riding this train, and need someone else to take a look at my neurosis, to see if they can figure something out. I really want to focus on my relationship with food, and whatever the underlying causes may be. I'm sure they're there. I'm pretty aware of myself though, so I'm worried that she'll just say "You're fine. You've got a great head on your shoulders!". We shall see. We shall see. I'll keep you posted!!

Has anyone out there ever seen a psychologist when it comes to food and your behaviour towards it? I'm curious as to what people's experiences have been like....Do tell!

Sunday Sunday....Stay forever!

Ever since I was a kid, I have endured those Sunday night blues. The feeling that the weekend has passed you by, and you have a huge, long week glaring at you just beyond the horizon. It makes me queasy, and anxious. It makes me restless, and gives me insomnia. It makes me stare at the clock, trying desperately to hold it still in one place. It makes me think of all the different excuses I can come up with for staying home the next day. And then Monday comes, and it is never as bad as I dreamt it to be. But how the weekend goes by so quickly. You blink and its gone.

This weekend, with the exception of grocery shopping - I did not leave the house. No walking, no running, no galavanting. Today I hit the P90X YogaX, and that was it for the exercise all weekend. Recovery week is finis. It's done. And now onto a weight lifting week - FUN! I actually am looking forward to it. This week was good, and my legs feel better (at least today). Yoga gave them the much needed stretching they required.

As for food, I've been alright. Last nights spaghetti squash made a reappearance in my eggs this morning. And it will probably reappear tonight, with some more turkey sausage or chicken.

I did spend the afternoon making 'cake-pops', which turned out great. I took pics, and will post them at a later time. They are purple with purple sparkles. I made them for the bake sale coming up this Friday and will store them in the fridge until then. I did have one. What? It fell!

My goal is to be good until June 10th - which is my dear hubby's birthday. I'm thinking Mongolian that night, but that's not unhealthy! But there will be cake. Oh yes, there will be cake.

Have I lost my Tolerance????

Last night, I indulged in the good stuff. Or rather, the really cheap good stuff - haha. Boxed wine for us, as always. I worked all day, and really felt like laying back when I finished. I polished off a few glasses (we'll say three....but maybe larger than your typical serving:).

Well, this morning, I was dead. Dead to the world. I had to run errands, that HAD to be done, and I barely made it through. The grocery store was freezing, the car put me into hot flashes. My tummy was a roller coaster, and my head was throbbing. Needless to say, by 4pm, I was in bed napping. For two hours. Then I watched the first three episodes of 'Modern Family' and am just now going to attempt to eat dinner. Spaghetti squash and barbecued turkey sausage. Yum. I hope it sits well!!!

Rest Day - Muchly needed!

Today was a day of rest, although I still got 10K walk in. I'm feeling bloated and gross, but happy if that is at all possible. I got another insult today, from a patient. She told me she thought I was 45 years old. I'm 33. Boo. But then a random stranger told me my face looked like Bo Derek, so that made me smile (and then I thought - wait a minute! How old is she??). She's still hot.

No P90X today. And I'm done work, and I get to FINALLY WATCH the finale of the Biggest Loser!!! I'm so excited!!!

I ate poorly today, but it was GOOOOD! I had a mushroom burger from the farmer's market! Yum!

Another Day, Another Workout.....

Sometimes I feel like I do not have a life beyond working and working out. And having my husband bite my ass. I don't mean this metaphorically. And now I have two basset hounds on the bed trying to get in on my blog as well. As you can tell...I feel like I do not have too much to write today.

While playing trivial the other night over a glass of wine, I was completely zoned out. I looked  at my hubby and thought aloud..."I wonder how long it would take me to do laundry if you died." He laughed so hard he spat out his wine and had to run and write it down. I don't do laundry nearly enough. In fact, I've lived in this house 2 years, and I've never done it once. Pretty special, eh?! He does it all. And to be honest, he probably doesn't do it enough either. I'm definitely known for reusing my gym clothes. Including socks on occasion. Pretty nasty. But that's who I am. Just putting it out there for you all to see.

Today I did my CardioX and walked 5Km. I actually feel like the days I do the Cardio DVD, I 'don't workout'. Not that it is easy, but it's only 45 minutes. Much of which is doing a form of yoga. But it's great, and a good rest. This week is 'recovery week' so my body is starting to feel like I haven't been killing myself for the past month. I truly think this is needed. I feel like my brain is even healing!

My diet has been good (always good through the week it seems). I ate way to many blueberries (yes, I am aware this is not Dukan - but I won't even claim to say I'm doing that right now). Blueberries are not the worse thing in the world. In fact, they are apparently one of the best - so cheers to me!

I'm a little down about my size at the moment - someone called me 'chubby' today, yet fit. What an insult! I was taken right back to highschool and almost cried like a school girl. But then I just kicked the sH#* out them. Haha. Just kidding. I did throw a roll of tape at him though:)

Lactic Acid Build Up!!!

So my legs have been killing me the past week, I suppose in a good way. I was worried about doing my run, as I haven't been running much lately, and the P90X has me doing crazy things with my legs - and they just aren't used to it yet! Getting there though. I like the fact that it incorporates lots of stretching into the workouts.

On Friday, I went for a massage, and had her do her magic on my legs. She gave me enough epsom salts for a few days, and on Sunday my run was great. Now today, they are back to killing me. YogaX was incredibly tough! My legs were throbbing, and even my arms hurt from Kenpo (much more than usual). I'm so glad to be done for the evening.

Now I've got turnip fries and fish in the oven....yummy. Can't wait!

The Scotia Bank Bluenose Marathon

The Bluenose Marathon is for EVERYONE, they have such a diverse group of runners, of all speeds, all shapes, all distances. On Saturday, they had a 4.2K Youth Run for the little guys, and today they had a 5K, a 10K, a half-marathon, and a full Marathon. It is a huge fundraiser, and SOOOOO many people show up. I'm not sure what the turn out was as of yet, but I'm guessing 10000 plus. It is quite spectacular!

This morning, my friend's husband drove us down and dropped us off. It was freezing out (a balmy 6 degrees I think), windy, and cloudy. Perfect for running actually. Not so perfect for waiting to run, but I digress. On my way to the race, I realized, I left my bib (and time chip) at home - but it was way to late to go back. So I just ran with my friend (which was the plan anyhow - she's a great pacer), and assume we had the same time. 

The first 2KM were easy peasy. I felt like the wind itself, without a care in the world. I had great music pumping through my mp3, and the crowd was so motivating. About 3Km in to it, I got a stitch, and had to slow down a wee bit, but I got through it. We ended up coming in at about 32:19 minutes. However, it took us almost 2 minutes at the beginning to even start running, as the crowd was so massive. So I would say it took just over 1/2 an hour. Better than last year's time, but not my personal best. But it was great, and so much fun, and that is what is most important. 

I got a Medal!!! (for participation of course!)

Now I got one more workout to do today (and we walked 5K home as well....so I'm doing great with the exercise!. )

Now back to good eating for the week! 

Saturday - Feeling Fine

Again with the crazy busy life. I really need a few good days off, to do just nothing but veg out!! I started this morning with a visit to a friends house to steal a van full of perennials to fill my back yard with. Gotta love friends. That took pretty much all morning. Stopped by quickly to Old navy for $1 flip flops! Then hit the grocery store to get a few necessities. 

Then off to downtown with another dear friend to register for the BLUENOSE marathon (I'm only running the 5K). It is tomorrow at 9:50am. Then we hit dinner at Boston Pizza. I had chicken and salad and water. Sooo good I am (we'll omit the part where i had pizza last night...wink wink). I still haven't done my KENPO workout today and its almost 10pm. Not sure if I'm going to get it in. This week coming is my 'recovery week' for P90X, so what I might do is just forgo this workout. I'm running tomorrow, so maybe that will make up for it! And I have Monday off as it is a holiday in Canada - so perhaps I can get two workouts in one of those days:???? Whatcha think about that? 

I'm off to socialize with my hubby. It's been a LONG WEEK!!!

Friday No Post

Didn't get a chance to post yesterday, as it was so insanely busy. Had to pick friends up a the airport, do more work, and then I just crashed. I didn't get a chance to do my Kenpo, which I will do today instead (as today would be nil or stretch).

Diet is going well, and I can't complain. I'll write more later!

Another Day down....Good girl, good girl!!

Here in lies the end (almost...) of day 5 of eating well!! And it is also 19 of P90X. I'm in such a groove right now. I wonder if is the fact that I'm a mad woman on a mission, or maybe its the coming of summer. Sometimes I feel as though things really turn around when the weather gets warmer. And this afternoon, the sun is out (LIKE REALLY OUT) for the first time all month. I think it is supposed to be 22 degrees! That makes me a happy woman!

Today's Eats:
Breakfast: scraubled eggs w/ ham
Lunch: greek yogurt and green beans,
Snack: More yogurt with oat bran.
Dinner: ?????
Didn't drink my green tea today, but will when I get home from work.

Exercise:
10K walk
P90X Legs and Back? I think so (haven't done it yet).

SO BUSY!!!! But I Promise to Keep Bloggin!

Okay, so I'm crazy busy. I've started a second job, which I do from home (freelancing), but it takes SOOOO much time. Eventually, I'd love to be able to work from home entirely, so baby steps!! I really want to keep the blog up too, and discuss everything that is going on in my life, especially with regards to my diet/fitness.....and I promise to try....just time is so tight right now.

I'm doing great! Today's eating was spectacular, and I've really turned around since Sunday....so that is good. I'm working out like crazy as well - so I feel like I've turned a page. I suppose being busy really helps. What I would love though is to sit back and read everyone else's blogs!! I can't wait for the weekend!

Today's Eats;
Breakfast: Greek yogurt and egg whites
Lunch: Salad with chicken and lots of veggies, balsamic vinegar
Dinner: haven't eaten it yet, but more chicken and salad
Snack: Yogurt
Tons of green tea and water. 2 coffees.

Workout: 10Km walk/run
P90X: Shoulders and Arms/Ab Ripper X.

AbRipper X makes me want to vomit. But I'm getting better. I'm up to 20 reps of most of the sets. Not bad. Not bad. My abs are just constantly in pain!!!

Yesterday

Quick Post for yesterday. Ate perfectly, essentially the exact same as the day before (eggs, yogurt, chicken, turkey, salad). Worked like crazy. Walked 10Km and did 1.5 hours of yoga. Sleep at midnight! So tired!

Exhausted, but doing Great!

Crazy busy today, and somewhat in love with that. I like being distracted, and I find i am so much more disciplined if I have a lot going on. Worked like crazy, just finished, and it's almost 9pm!!!

Today's meals;
Breakfast: egg creations and greek yogurt
Lunch: salad w/ cucumber, tuna, and a few blackberries
Snack: More greek yogurt
Drinks: Copious amounts of green tea and water
Dinner: Not eaten yet, but turkey burgers and veggies

Exercise:
10Km walk
CardioX (not done yet) - 1 hour.

Yay Me!! I'm on fire today!

Finally Some Humour!

My hubby and I went to see 'Bridesmaids' this afternoon. Seriously, FUNNIEST MOVIE EVER.
It was so good, I was splitting a gut the entire time. I even snorted really loud once, which of course put me into a fit of hysterical laughing, and probably did the same for everyone around me. Kristen Wiig is phenomenal. I've loved her ever since I first saw her in 'Knocked Up', but she really proved herself in this one, as a writer and and actress. She is just wonderful. And you have to check out her bod! It's wicked! Her abs are rock solid, you could bounce a quarter off them. Dream body. Seriously.

I had to come home right away and hit the P90X after seeing her muscles! I did the Core Synergetic workout (my third week - so I will change next week). It was tough, as I was really tired, but I made it through. I loathe Superman/Banana. But I did it.

Now I've got some kimchi chigae on the stove, and I'm going to hit the tub first for a nice long bath.

Ciao bellas!

17 Days????

How's it going??? I hope everyone is enjoying their Saturday. Second day in a row without rain for the maritimes...we might break some sort of record! Doubt it. Rain due for tomorrow. But I am enjoying the dryness, even if it is gray.

Went shopping today at Le Costco and stocked up on veggies and protein. There was a book there that my mother wanted, called "The 17 Day Diet". The son of a friend of hers had lost a bunch of weight on it, so she wanted to check it out. Her birthday is coming up, so I thought - I'll buy it for her, and then I can give it a read through before I give it to her (I know - that's just awful, isn't it?). She won't mind. It looks somewhat similar to Dukan, at first glance. There are 4 phases. The last one is 'consolidation' as well. I know that it's not completely low carb - but the first phase is. It should be interesting to read. Maybe i'll take something from it, maybe I won't. Who's to say? I'll keep you posted, and maybe do a little review.

Today I did the P90X Legs and Back. It is pretty killer. I was supposed to do Ab Ripper X afterwards, but my friend called, and then we had to go as my hubby and I went on a wee date. We were going to see 'Bridesmaids', but it was sold out. Boohoo. So instead we went for dinner, which is always lovely.

Anywho - that's all for now. Ciao bellas!

TGIF....Happy Friday!!

Hello all my lovelies, hope you are doing well. I've never been so happy to see the weekend:)

This week has still been a struggle eating wise, but P90X is going spectacularly. Tomorrow will be day 14, and I haven't missed a workout, and I feel like I'm getting stronger. My tummy is fatter (teehee) but my arms are definitely more defined. I just gotta get that eating on track!!

As my brother thinks the end of the world is this Sunday, I figure i'll have one great last day, and that leave it until then to get back on track (just in case). I know I'm just being silly, but have someone tell you it everyday, and you feel like it just may be.....

It's 9:25, and I have to get up early. I worked like CRAZY this week, and it is time for a much needed break. I'm going to have a big glass of wine right now, and end the night the right way.

Love to all!
heather

Back to Work

Back to work today, and it was crazy busy. It is almost 7:30 and I just finished. I haven't even worked out yet! But will - no worries. Strange, my belly is distended (from all the crap I've been eating) - but I'm sure my arms and shoulders are already showing some definition from the P90X.
I started off well today. Porridge and cottage cheese. Salad w/ cottage cheese for lunch. Then I had a cookie. Then I had a small piece of pound cake (with cinnamon in it - to die for). That's it, that 's all. Well, and some fruit. Anyhow. I'll eat a healthy dinner. Can't weigh in tomorrow as we have medical rounds, and it's on pediatrics and sleep - so that's sort of my domain...
Everyone at work is on WW it seems. Strange, that all of a sudden this happens. Must be that time of year.

A Rough Weekend

Thank you everyone, for you concern. It means a lot to me. This past weekend was a rough one, and to be honest, I can't be sure it's over with yet. Things are pretty crazy in my life right now, and I don't see a positive calm in the very near future. But this is what life is all about I guess; the good and the bad.

To give you a quick (or maybe not so quick) run down....
As you know, last Thursday, we lost our family dog. This handsome, 18 year old beagle, belonged to my brother for quite some time now. My brother, is not exactly in a good mental state. About 10 years ago, he was diagnosed as having schizophrenia. He is quite functional, more than most people. He is healthy otherwise (again, more than most people), he is intelligent, and for the most part, you'd never know he was 'different' at all. He is unmedicated. Beyond all of this however, lay his strongest characteristic. He believes he is divine. He also believes that the world is coming to an end. Most of his thoughts are based on fact, or what many people claim to be fact (ie; he's not hearing voices in his head). He feels that most of us, are living with our heads in the sand (we are to some extent) and that if you are not poor and/or suffering, then you are ignoring the poor and the suffering. He is very confrontational when it comes to this, and has caused a lot of angst in many people. While I'd love to say that he is not suicidal, I'd have to say that he is (at least more than most people).

I love him dearly. I do not live close to him, but up until very recently, had kept close touch.

The death of his beloved dog did not leave him in a good place.

The following night, my mother was sent to emergency, and admitted to the hospital. She had contracted some sort of rare infection. As I don't live in the same city, I received very vague and ominous notification of this - of course, via facebook - from my brother. That night was spent trying to get a hold of anyone, and thinking the very worse, wishing it wasn't.

I got my wish. My mother is doing well, and returned home on Mother's Day evening. My brother, who is staying at their house, is very elusive and aloof. I'm really not sure what is going on. I feel very distant. I am concerned, but he is with family - and there is not much more I can do.

As for me, I'm counting my blessings, and trying to keep my chin up. I'm also trying to resist googling all the terrifying links my brother is putting up on facebook regarding our world's impending doom. I've been on the phone almost all day, everyday since Thursday, trying to be as close as I can to my family, without actually being there.

As for my diet? Well, it's been pretty terrible. Wrong choices, without care. I'm back on track today, for the most part.

My workouts - spot on. I've done my P90X everyday since I started. Today is day 9. I'm still aching from it, all over. Today was YogaX, which was very stress relieving. I really like the program, and it kept me sane, and allowed me to stay home all weekend by the phone. I do want to get running again soon, but it's been raining for the past 25 days straight.

Anyhow, thanks again for listening. I have been checking in on everyone's blogs, and happy to hear from all who commented and emailed. Thank you so much.

A Short Explanation

Going through some family issues at the moment. Received more bad news.
I'm going to be away for at least a day or two. I'm okay, and doing my workouts.
My diet has went out the window, but I could careless right now. I'm not worried about my food nor am I gorging myself - that is all I am saying.

I'll be in touch...

Day 5 P90X: KenpoX

This post will be quite short. I'm a little upset right now, as my family dog (at home with brother) passed away at 18 years. He was the coolest dog ever, and lead a beautiful long life.

Did P90X KenpoX today, which was off schedule, but I didn't want to do legs today, as I want to run tomorrow, and afraid of the pain. So I did a bit of a switch. Kenpo was pretty good. Sweated lots and lots.

Weighed in at  work. I was down to 157.6, which is 1.4lbs from last week's weigh in (or almost 6lbs from my Tuesday scale fiasco!). I'm happy with that, but not going to let it lead me into temptation. I'm staying on track! P90X has me super motivated.

Okay, So I truly am Crazy! And P90X Day 4 - YogaX!!

So I got back on the scale today - and it's back down to what it was. I am truly crazy. LET THIS BE A REMINDER TO MYSELF - DO NOT FLIP OUT COMPLETELY WHEN YOU GAIN FIVE POUNDS OVERNIGHT!!! But you know I will..... This just goes to show you that the scale can not be relied on completely. For some people, yes - their weight does not oscillate as much. But others, like myself - can gain and lose 5lbs overnight. My friend, who is pregnant, has gained one pound, and she is almost four months. Literally, her weight doesn't change an iota on the scale from morning to night. It's also hard for her to lose, but she doesn't seem to gain easily either. Me, on the other hand, well if I HAD to, I could drop 12 in a week (which I've done - in a very unhealthy manner) - or probably gain it too. Which I'm sure I've done. I've just blocked it out of my memory, so far down that even Freud couldn't find it!

Why do I pander to this machine, catering to that metal piece of sh#$%. Why do I let it set me into a fervour of self loathing? Or why do I let it make me feel like I'm queen of the world - for sweating out 3lbs of water in workout. And I completely know that I will continue to let it dictate everything, but I'm progressing. I'm down to once or twice a week. Okay, maybe three times. What can I say? I'm neurotic!

On to better things....Today I did the Yoga from P90X, and loved it. It was 1.5hrs, which was slightly too long, but only because I was worried about the time. If I had all day, it would have been superb! I still completed it, and felt wonderful!! So lanky and stretched out, no muscles hurting. And the frog pose - my love - that was fantastic!! I love the way Yoga makes my body feel - and I should get back into it. I love Hot Yoga. If you've never tried, I highly recommend it! I gotta sign up for some classes. The place in Halifax offers a $20 deal, which gets your 'first' month unlimited. However, the price after that skyrockets. I should just put a sauna in my house! Okay, wait...that would be way more expensive!!

Today's Eats: SPOT ON!
Breakfast: yogurt and protein
Snack: Oatbran w/ protein and yogurt
Lunch: (not eaten yet) canned turkey with egg creations
Dinner: (") canned turkey with egg creations

Workout:
YogaX: 1.5hurs
5Km walk to work (in the rain - and I was still smiling). (and I hadn't weighed myself yet!!!)

What are your thoughts on Yoga? Do you love it? Hate it? Consider it a waste of  'exercise time'?
My hubby always says he'd rather get a 'real workout' than do that. Mind you, he's never tried, and I'm sure it would kill him!!

P90X Day 3: Shoulders and Arms/AbRipperX - And Just Hit Rock Bottom

We'll start with the good, put the crappy stuff in the middle, and then end on a good note. A nice little sandwich!

First off, slept great (night shift tonight). Woke up and had a nice big coffee. Then went downstairs to hit the weights. Shoulders and Arms today - and it was wonderful. My butt was really sore from the last two days, as were my quads - so it was good to get a bit of a break in that department. It's a very simple workout, which really fatigued my upper body. I need to get some more weights (I have too low and too high) - but it was a good starting point. My arms don't feel too bad right now, but I imagine they will tomorrow. Then I did the AbRipper (16 minutes of abs). This killed me. In a good way - but let me tell you - I have LOTS of room for improvement in the ab department!!

Now for the crappy part. After walking 5Km to work, I decided to jump on the scale. Now you can probably remember that last week, I weighed in at 159. Now this is heavier than I was before (when I wasn't really watching what I ate all that much at all - just eating relatively healthy). Since that weigh in day - I have been pretty spot on. Maybe not perfectly dukan - but as far as anyone else would say - following a very heatlhy diet. One that would inspire loss. Now today, before I've eaten anything but some protein - I jump on the scale. Naked. And I weigh almost 5 pounds more. This is impossible. Completely. I can rationalize it all in my head. There's no way I've eaten 3500 times 5 = 17500 calories (which would be the equivalent of 5 lbs) over my normal limit. If anything, I know that I've created a calorie deficit. Not to mention all the working out. And I know that it's not fat. I also know (so don't say it) that it's not muscle as of yet. Is it water? Am I retaining? Did I eat too much sodium? Are my muscles holding on to every little bit of water they can? I don't know. BUT THIS IS WHY I should not weigh myself. It terrifies me. It makes me want to do one of two things 1) Not eat anything, or 2) Eat everything in sight. Rationally, I won't do either of those things. I just need to get it out on paper, to feel better. I haven't weighed this much since last July. This is not where my body goes.  BBBBBLLLLLLAAAAHHH!

The good -
My diet is good. I'm exercising like a mo-fo. My plan will continue. I'm doing two days of straight protein right now. I'm working nights, and will be perfect. No 'trying'! Just doing it!! I'll chug water like no ones business. That's it. That's all.

Exercise:
1 Hour Arms/Shoulders
16 minutes : AbRipperX
5Km walk

Food:
Protein in my coffee
Turkey sausage with egg
Turkey sausage with egg
Turkey sausage with egg
(not a lot of variety I know - need to go shopping - lucky I love sausage and egg).

P90X Day Two: CardioX

All I can say is "Ooooowwwww.....". My core is so sore from yesterday's workout! Seriously, all afternoon my obliques have felt like someone stuck a knife in them. Every little laugh, or cough, sent me into crippling agony, only to make me laugh more. And to spend that whole afternoon thinking about coming home and doing it again?? Well, I must be mad. Or masochistic. Or both. I think so! I love it!!

Today was CardioX. I found it a lot easier than yesterday's workout, but then harder because I was already in so much pain. Doing the squat runs (where you squat down real low, with one leg in front of the other - and then pretend you're running real fast with your upper body) just about put me into spasms.

But it's done now...and it was awesome. I highly recommend it so far. Nothing but good things to say! I may switch over to the 'classic' schedule after a few weeks, especially if I find I want less cardio, as I get quite a bit with my running. Mind you, I ain't runnin' today!!!

So...Today's Workouts: 
1)10Km plus walk
2)P90X CardioX

Today's Eats:
Breakfast: Oatbran/wheatbran/flax porridge
Lunch: Chicken and salad (pepper, lettuce cucumbers)
Snack: 3 yogurts (one plain)
Dinner: My hubby is making me Dak Kalbi again. Love.

Didn't get enough water into me. And had a diet pepsi. Only one coffee though (we were out:()

P90X Day One!! Core Synergistics

What are Sunday's for if not to make a start at something? 
Am I charged and rarin' to go? You betcha!! Today marked the first day of my very first "P90X Challenge".

I've had the P90X system (or the videos anyways) for a good year now. You might wonder why they have been laying dormant in my drawers for oh so long. Well, the biggest reason is that I do not have a television or a DVD player. I have a computer, that sits at the end of our bed. There I blog, surf the internet, and indulge in the few TV shows I find worth watching; the Daily Show, the Colbert Report, House MD, and of course, the Family Guy. I also watch the Biggest Loser, because I love watching success stories (I actually detest reality shows, but can see the allure). We rent movies occasionally, and have a huge volume. But I haven't had an actual Television in over 10 years. I don't hate TV, but rather I know that if I had one, I would be more likely to turn into a zombie, and develop an unhealthy relationship with a couch. But I digress - and got away from my point!

My friend is moving in to our apartment downstairs this fall (she is a student). For the summer, she is going home (across the country) and has left all her stuff with me. Including a Flat screen TV and a DVD player. So there we go! I have access, and the perfect amount of time to finally do the challenge I so desperately have been craving! And so begins the adventure.

I have decided to do the 'Lean Schedule' of the program, which focuses on more cardio for maximum weight loss, but still focuses on strength as well. I do not have the book (I know, I'm horrible for not getting these books!) as I was given the videos by a friend. If anyone has any HUGE pointers they would like to share (Veerruka!!), please chime in anytime!

Day One: Core Synergistics
This was a series of exercises that seemed to focus on working your core, but hitting all of your body. It was about one hour long, and was crazy fast, alternating between different sets quickly, without much rest (except for the occasional water break). I was able to keep up most of the time, but there were a few exercises that I completely sucked at - can you say beginner! The chataranga (which is a yoga pose I'm very familiar with) alternating with push-ups was incredibly difficult, and I sorta bombed. My abs are pretty weak, so boat poses and bananas were insane. I know I'm going to be sore tomorrow! But that's the point, tear down walls and rebuild them stronger!! Wish me luck!

If you did the P90X, did you take pics? What about on the Dukan? Did anyone take before and after pics???

Today's Eats:
Breakfast: Oatbran porridge with egg whites
Lunch: burger meat and salad
Dinner: Chicken meatballs with salad (maybe some other veggie, not sure)

Goals for this week: 
Drink my water!! I'm sucking at this completely!!
Do not give into temptation during my night shifts (tues/wed night)

Perfect Day

Woke up this morning at my own pace, and greeted it with a smile.
It was not raining (finally!). Poured my coffee, and sat outside with the man as I gradually 'woke up' for real. Put my gym clothes on, and ran!
I ran to the gym and back, which is 10K without stopping (except for lights), and it was wonderful. By the end, my legs were lead - but my lungs were fine, and I felt great. What a perfect way to start the day:)

The I headed to 'Saltscapes' at Exhibition Park, which is a travel/tourism exhibition of sorts. Lots of info on summer events happening throughout Eastern Canada during the summer, and lots of draws for so much good stuff! I hope I win something, mind you there were probably 10000 people there or more throughout the day. I bought some organic flax flour from a local merchandiser - which will be exciting to try out. Maybe in the dukan bread. I also bought maple syrup, but more for summer guests (not for me~!!).

Went to dinner and had 'hamburger' with salad and balsamic vinegar on the side.

Didn't eat much today, but nibbled on eggs and carrots. The day just flew by, and now I'm exhausted!!! Off to bed for me! Cross your fingers I win something!

Weigh in Day

Weigh In Day At Work

Don't I look happy! I actually am. It's not the most flattering outfit - I did have some hot high boots on, but not for the scale part! I know I'm not that overweight, but if I was in a bikini for this picture, I wouldn't be posting it, that's for sure!!

Today's Meals:

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with turkey bacon

Snack: Oatbran, wheat bran, and small amount of flax

Lunch: vegetable soup with chicken

Dinner: Turkey sausages w/ turnip

Exercise: 

10Km walk

And now I'm going to help a friend move...so some heavy lifting!!

And the Prize for gaining the most weight over Easter goes to....

Guess!
So, we all know that I took quite the hiatus from Dukan for about 2-3 weeks, while sick, and then over Easter break....so this is no surprise to me at all. In fact, over the last 3 weeks, I've been mores slack with my exercise (until last Friday, when I restarted) than I have been in about 7 or 8 years. I was eating crap, and not just 'non-dukan' food, but plain out crap. So it's no surpirse. It's no surprise. I do not feel guilty. I do not feel ashamed. This is life sometimes, and what is most important (so long as I don't live my entire life losing and gaining the same 10 pounds) - is that I get back on that horse. Which I have.

I weighed in at the official start to the biggest loser challenge today. I did drink a bunch of water right before weighing in (because come on! it is a contest - who didn't do that???). My waist measurements were 28.5inches (what were they at the end of the last challenge??), and I weighed in at 159lbs. This is actually 1 pound heavier than when I started Dukan. Not so good. I will weigh in once a week, on Thursdays - for all of those who want to hear about my circus life on the scale.

Today's Meals:
Breakfast: oatbran porridge w/ yogurt
Lunch: Salad w/ cucumbers and turkey and ground beef
Snack: tuna 'salad' (salt and pepper and cream cheese)
Dinner: My hubby is currently making 'Dak Kalbi' which as I'm sure I've mentioned is a Korean dish, made with spicy pepper paste, cabbage and chicken (and rice, but I won't eat that part). It has 1tbsp of honey in the entire recipe, but I'll allow that:)

Exercise: Walked about 30 minutes.
Going to the gym, think I'll do a FitMix class!

Could Kill for some Chocolate!

Today has been perfect, as far as food goes. I've been 'spot on' Dukan. However, I cannot speak for the demons in my head craving chocolate. I don't understand them. I mean, I've eaten enough - so what's the deal???

Meal Log:
Breakfast: Scoop of Protein, 1.5tbsp oat bran, yogurt
Lunch: Turkey and some Ground beef, with cucumbers
Snack: yogurt
Dinner (not yet): eggs and turkey
Calories<1400 no doubt!

Exercise: non-existent as of yet, but will hit the gym shortly! Promise. Going to try and do a run!

Later on;
Did 5Km run at the gym. Just over 30 minutes. Not bad, not bad:)

Re-Attack

As I mentioned the other day, I would like to start my 'sorta' Dukan plan. I did not weigh myself today (or lately!) as I'm terrified of what the scales will have to say. I've overindulged lately. Or I've indulged, to say the least. So there is no 'start point'. We shall see. It's not about how much I lose, it's about getting to a bodysize/frame of mind that I am comfortable with. That may take months, which I'm alright with. And who knows where the path may lead. That being said, I will be rejoining the latest 'biggest loser' contest at work - primarily because I find it 'keeps me in check' every week. There is something about gaining in front of someone that I do not like. I've been doing the challenge since last summer (when I first weighed in at 169lbs - I came in second, and was down to 150 over 12 weeks). I know that if I keep doing the challenge, I will never allow my weight to rise to that level again. If I'm not losing, it at least helps me maintain within 5 lbs.

So today marked Day One - a re-attack if you will. I've decided to do two days straight protein (although I may have some green veggies if I feel the need). I'm focusing on ditching the real carbs, and upping the water.

Meal Log for Today:
Breakfast (within 30 minutes of waking!!): Protein/coffee shake (milk, coffee, protein)
Later Breakfast: Oatbran (1.5 tbsp) and yogurt
Lunch: turkey and cottage cheese
Snack: Yogurt times two
Dinner: 2 eggs w/ turkey. Possible side salad (just spinach and cucumbers)
Drinks: 2.5 coffees. 1 tea. 8 glasses of water. May have 1 detox tea later.
Calories < 1400cals

Exercise: 
Not a lot today,
5Km walk
Run 1 mile (on lunch)
30 squats (just for the fun of it)
I couldn't make it to the gym after work due to time constraints, and then didn't want to go back out.

Again, my 'plan' is to do two days of attack, and then go to Protein/veggie days. I will have one or two pure protein days a week (tuesdays and wednesdays). Possibly, I will have a 'free meal' with wine on the weekends. This will not be a huge chinese buffet or anything like that. But it may incorporate a slightly higher carb day, followed by or following a great, solid workout of both weightlifting and a run. I also have some grapes and strawberries in the fridge that will not go to waste, but I will wait until the weekend.

I really need to focus on getting the H20 into me, as I've been slack on that as well.

I'll post my weight on Thursday, unless I don't go to the bathroom till then!!!

Short Post, Short Day!!!

Warning: boring post!

Today flew by! Walked with the doggy and boy, and then continued on to the gym (5Km walk - with a bit of running, but had a big backpack on my shoulders, so running was tough). Then I did 40 minutes lower body workout. Killed my legs, with lots of squats, lunges, etc - and will no doubt feel it tomorrow. I increased my weights (which were down from when I was sick) and felt great, as though I could lift a lot with ease.

After that, hit the mall and 'Le Costco'. Stocked up on protein and salad for the week. Still a whole turkey in the fridge. I think my mother thought I was crazy cooking a 20lbs turkey for two people, but we'll get it into us! I have to make the turkey soup too - but it takes so long, that I'm scared. I put the carcus (I hate that word, makes we want to be a vegetarian) in the freezer, so hopefully it will be okay.

Then I went out to dinner, came home, took a bath - will make dinner for my hubby and go to bed!!

Very, very boring post. I apologize, but I like to post for my own sake of keeping a journal. Making it a habit! It's one thing I haven't had a problem staying on track with! That, and reading everyone else's'!

Happy Easter Dukaners!

Happy Easter everyone! I hope you had a beautiful Easter Sunday, and that the Easter bunny visited each and every one of you! He sure hit my place! I had a wonderful scavenger hunt orchestrated by my handsome Peter Rabbit Hubby. Little cryptic clues in hidden locations to lead me to the next chocolate easter egg. I will have what I like today, and then hide them, or ration them, or something. Haven't quite figured that out yet!

Still really thinking about what step to take next. While I love what Dukan stands for, and where it leads, and the results of others I've been watching - I'm worried that the 'strictness' of any it, or any 'diet' really may be setting me up for failure. I have a long time pattern of watching what I eat, losing weight, then losing interest. I think when I'm 'dieting', my mind feels deprived, whether or not my body actual is. And then I snowball in the other direction. I'm sure this is a pattern many people can relate to. I really need to focus on my relationship with food. I want to eat to live, not live to eat - but it's a hard thing to get my heart and brain set on. I LOVE food. I love all kinds of food. I like healthy food, I like unhealthy food. And saying I 'can't have' any certain things, makes me want them more in the long run. I know that I function better without carbs - but the not having them makes me want them more. More than I did before restricting them.

That being said, I like the idea of ridding my life of sugar in general, at least to the point where I can get rid of my 'addiction' if you want to call it that. But I may need to incorporate the healthy sugars, such as sweet potato, squash, and other veggies on a daily basis. So for now, while I haven't made any promises to myself as to when I'm going to start - I think I will do another Attack Phase, 3 days, and then go on to Cruise, with 6 days veggies, and 1 day Protein. I also think that I may incorporate some sort of 'free meal' per week.

Now I can already see a lot of Dukaners out there thinking 'Well, that won't work. That's not the way the Dukan plan was set out to work, scientifically.' However, if you look at what I just said, it looks an awful lot like South Beach, Body for life, the 4-Hour Body, and many other plans - that do have track records of working.

The weight loss may be slower than others have shown, but I'm Okay with that. And I like the idea of having an attack phase (just protein), a cruise phase (with protein and veg, and free meal), and consolidation (where once I reach my goal weight/size/whatever - I can start to slowly incorporate things like healthy bread, quinoa, and such).

It may work. It may not. I may do it. I may not. I hate making promises, and then screwing it up. So I'm not going to do that. The shame/guilt of that just makes it harder for me to persevere.

So anyhow, I've got the turkey in the oven, with sweet potato, and green beans all set to go. I will enjoy our beautiful Easter dinner.

I hope you all had a gorgeous Easter meal, with treats or without.

Back in the Run of Things

Running that is!

I ran 8Km today outside. I felt like the wind. I got my breath back, and it felt like riding a bike. I was so worried that I would have to start over, run, walk, run, etc. But I just felt wonderful. In fact, I felt better running than I did before I got sick. It could be what some people refer to as beginner's luck. But I'm happy with it.

My hubby, doggy and I walked down to the hydrostone market, and I kept going from there. Maybe it was the nice company on the way. Who knows. But it was perfect. I really needed it.

Tonight I made a Dukan cheesecake, to have tonight and tomorrow. Getting ready for Easter (cause you know, I really need cheesecake, if I'm getting chocolate easter eggs tomorrow!).

Hope everyone is already for the bunny to come tonight. Enjoy!!

Good Friday was Not so Good

While I got to sleep in, I was awoken with some disappointing news from home. Today was somewhat of a stressful day, so I don't have too much to write. My hubby took good care of me though and showered me with love - so I'm doing alright, thanks to him. He took me to the coast, where we just sat and talked for hours. Then we went out to dinner, and our plan is to just take it easy tonight.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday weekend, and enjoy your treats if you plan to, and if not - have a wonderful doing otherwise!! And be proud! I will of course be in touch no doubt. Just not for the rest of today. And no, I didn't make it to the gym. That's the only thing I feel a bit guilty about:(

Woman, Food and God

Had a beautiful day today. Woke up on my own terms, drove down to work to drop off my baked goods (sugar cookies, and oreo stuffed chocolate chip cookies - which I didn't take a picture of, as obviously - it's not for us Dukaners). There were so many luscious treats there, all of which I avoided (but let's be honest, I didn't have any cash on me, or I would have been in heaps of trouble).

From there I headed to the library, and checked out two books.
1) Women, Food, and God - by Geneen Roth
2) Crave - by Cynthia Bulk

For a long time, I have avoided buying/reading Women, Food, and God - primarily because of the word God in the title. I'm not a religious person by nature, and didn't think I would be able to relate someone relating God to food. However, so many people have told me that it isn't about that - so I thought I would give it a chance. And I have to say, I'm half way through, and it's really good. I hope I can take a lot from it, and perhaps write some sort of synopsis/review for the blog. I can relate to a lot of what she has to say so far - as I'm sure we all could. Have any of you read it?


After the library, I went to the gym. My chest is not completely back to normal, so no running as of yet. I did 45 minutes on the bike, while reading. I always find this difficult, as my hands are all sweaty, my back starts hurting, I drop the book. But the book is captivating, so it made the time fly.

Did a bit of grocery shopping. Then hit the mall with a friend. I'm broke, so all I bought was a Mother's Day card for my mama. Practically started bawling while I was reading them all. Truly, my mother is the most amazing person - and I hope she realizes that. For all of you mothers out there, I think you have the most important job in the world - and it ain't an easy one!!


Anywho, that's it for now.


We're going to watch Paranormal Activity!!! Scary!!!

Sugar: The Bitter Truth

This is a Youtube Must see. It's a long one, but if you have 1.5hrs, definitely worth a watch!!

Sugar: The Bitter Truth

If you'd prefer to read something about it, here's a link to a recent New York Times article

Is Sugar Toxic?

This really gives my head a shake. I'm huge on conspiracies, and find them very intriguing. This one really hits a button with me though. Obviously, it is not new to me, but I've never seen a better speaker on the subject than Robert Lustig. I think in the long run, eliminating the 'bad sugar' is my goal with Dukan. I'm not opposed to eating fruit in the long term, or carb that is truly nutritious, high in fibre, and won't hurt me. I wish I could just go immediately to that. I think that Dr. Lustig, while he doesn't necessarily talk about the solution to the addiction to sugar (other than - just stop consuming it!), he does really focus on the addiction side of things. He's definitely crazy against soda! I gave up regular soda a long time ago, so that's good. It's hard to believe there are still people out there that drink ridiculous amounts of it daily. I recently met a woman who drank 4 litres of it a day!! And she was a nurse! I'm not sure if I even get in 4 litres of liquid!! Let alone, coke! I'd love to hear Dr. Lustig's views on diet soda, aspartame, and other artificial sugars.

6 DAYS OFF!!!

Tonight is my last shift, and then I'm off until next Tuesday, for Easter break! My hubby came in the house with a secret bag of something related to Easter. Honestly, I'd probably kill him if it weren't Easter treats - so you can bet I will be allowing myself to induldge (slightly) in that regard. That being said, I'm planning on cooking a big turkey, some squash, some potatoes (for him) and some green beans, and possibly some sort of Dukan dessert. I've been doing well all week - but I'm not fully back commited to the whole Dukan or Die business at the moment. I'm focused on getting back on track, at the gym, and with my diet. I'm still eating veggies everyday (which to be honest, I might do more regularly). The Dukan Book comes out tomorrow in Canada - so maybe reading it will motivate me to jump back on that wagon with all you awesome Dukan bloggers out there!

Today's Eats:Breakfast: Oatbran,wheatbran, flax porridge with whey protein (that's all so far!)
Lunch will be: spaghetti squash and canned chicken and cottage cheese
Dinner will be: green beans and canned turkey and cottage cheese
I don't have much more than that here - so snackage will be cottage cheese I'm guessing! I forgot to brng yogurt!

Today's Moves:
30 minutes upper body workout
22 minutes bike ride

I took it a bit easy today.

I'm planning on doing a run soon, see if I got my lungs back. The cough has pretty much subsided, but is lingering at night. Still drinking buckley's. And Neo Citron. It should die soon~!

A 2 Litre Bottle of Coke Zero!

That is what I bought on the way to work tonight. That was my treat, a huge bottle of Coke Zero. No worries, I won't drink it all - I'll have company I'm sure!

Hit the gym first thing;
5Km walk
25 minutes Precor
15 minutes Bike

And my food for today;
Breakfast: Oatbran/wheatbran/flax porridge with egg whites
Lunch: Will be canned turkey and green beans
Snackage for the rest of the night includes; squash, yogurt, cottage cheese and COKE!

Not much to note today otherwise. Slept it away, although I did wake up exactly every two hours to pee. That's how you know I've been chugging the water and inhaling the protein!

Sunday in Bed

I got to sleep in today (as I always do when I work that evening's night shift). The rest of the day was spent in the exact same spot. So nice! We watched 'Temple Grandin', which is a great movie (for an HBO special) and I highly recommend it. We snoozed a little bit in the late afternoon, and then I got up, prepared my lunch, and went to the gym.

I did better today, and although I'm still hacking my brains out (mostly at night:(), I felt a lot better. I made it the whole hour without making anyone throw up or throw daggers my way. And perfectly, it stopped raining just as it was time for me to walk to work. I hate coming from the gym all sweaty, only to go outside and get wet. NOT GOOD FOR A COLD, I'm sure.

My co-worker (the one that's lost all the weight) showed up with an XL Timmies (which is coffee for those non-Canadians out there) with skim milk and sweetener. God love her.

Today's Eats:
Breakfast: XL timmies, oatbran/wheatbran and cottage cheese
(that's it so far, but this is what I brought in my lunch bag)
- greens (spinach, lettuce, etc) and cucumbers
- a big thing of banana/strawberry yogurt with 1 gram of sugar, and zero fat (yes dairy - I went back for now)
- cottage cheese
- left over spaghetti squash
(which was amazing, by the way! I took a snapshot of it, and will post sooner than later).
- green beans
- can of chicken

Today's Workout
30 minute Lower body workout (squats, deadlifts, lunges, etc) and some abs
30 minutes on the Precor.

Does it look like I'm back in the game? I hope so. I at least want to get my weight back down to what it was - prior to the next 'biggest loser challenge' at work. That starts next Thursday (after Easter). We're having a bake sale this Thursday, and I'm making oreo stuffed chocolate chip cookies. I know. I'm crazy. Watch me try not to eat them.

Phlegm all over the handle bars...BUT Back At It!!

Yes, you heard me right. I am back at the gym. There was a part of me yesterday that just wanted to flag it, and run the other way. Or not run, but slowly walk without losing a lung. But it had been 1 WEEK exactly since I had hit the gym (with the exception of one yoga workout on Monday). In 7 years, I don't think I've went more than a week without going to the gym. Usually, I try to go everyday, but make it 5-6 times. I knew my lungs weren't ready, but the thought crossed my mind that they may never be. I kept thinking that if I keep 'not' going, then it will be harder and harder to go back to my original level of cardio and strength.

So, needless to say, I went. On Friday, I managed to do 3 circuits of full body. I went light on the weights and, all in all, it was quite pathetic. I know that people were glaring at me as I coughed and coughed, but I did a good job of ELABORATELY cleaning each machine down afterwards. Then I did 10 minutes on the elliptical. That was what my pipes could handle. Made me want to cry. I also walked my 5k to work - so it wasn't all that bad I suppose.

Today, I dragged myself to the gym, having had a good night's sleep with the help of 1/2 a bottle of buckley's and wine. Great combo, by the way. I highly recommend it. That and 4 huge glasses of water throughout the night. I only did cardio today - 30 minutes on the bike, and 10 minutes on the elliptical. Not to bad. Then 1 hour of grocery shopping. Does that count as exercise? Not with all the samples!!

I can't NOT go to the gym. It's not good for my soul. It drives me to eat to be honest, and I'm fully aware of that. I cannot wait until my lungs clear up - 'cause watch out!! I'll be awesome.

Now going to make a spaghetti squash w/ tomato sauce! Yum.

But let me finish this NeoCitron. Maybe I should put some vodka it!!

TGIF...for Realz!!

Hey all Dukaners out there! It's Friday! Start of a weekend. A time to start fresh?

A friend of mine from work just told me she's lost over 14 pounds in 6 weeks, and is now under 150lbs. So I'm incredibly happy for her/jealous. Is that awful?? I am happy for her! So hopefully this will light a fire under my butt and I will flame this baby. I'm still eating some carbs, and thinking of starting fresh soon. Possibly this Sunday? The Dukan book is released in Canada this upcoming week I believe, so that may give me a fresh outlook towards it all.

Thank you for baring with me and my neurosis! You're all wonderful. And although I'm eating carbs at the moment, know that I have not throw in the towel and will turn this bus around!

A Day Off (from work!)

I decided to take the day off today, and just stay in bed for the most part. I woke up at 4 am coughing, with a killer headache, and couldn't get back to sleep. So at 6 o'clock, I called in. I need some sleep, and am really hoping this headache goes away. I promise - once this cold is gone, I will not complain about sickness for a really long time! I feel like such a drag. I hate being sick - I get so bored!!

Anyhow, started the day with oatbran porridge and scrambled eggs. On track so far.

I'm trying to chug down liquids, but have ZERO desire for them. No fun! I just made a pot of tea though, so that should make me feel a bit better.

That's it for today!

Later that day;
You'll be happy to know that I'm making my dukan chicken fingers and squash fries!
Although it's not straight protein, it's a start! Easier to stay on plan when I'm at home!

Blogs and Motivation

I am so happy that I discovered the blogosphere. It is so inspiring to read other people's blogs and see how well they are doing, or to see them when they are under the weather and not doing as well as they could be - as it makes me feel as though I am not alone in this world. When you are surrounded by 'real life' and climbing the walls, it is a great escape, almost therapeutic to be able to sneak off to the computer and veg out for an hour or so and catch up on how everyone is doing in there little worlds. And to think of how it brings the whole world together is amazing. I mean, the number of countries that have 'viewed' my blog really puts it into perspective. How we can all be living in such different places, but be going through some of the exact same trials and tribulations. That just amazes me! Truly, it does!

Today was I went to my Non-violent Crisis intervention and CPR sessions. It was a fun group, and the day just flew by. The session was held on the other end of town, so no walking today, and still sick. I coughed the whole time, and I think people thought I was this disgusting sicko. I kept telling them, "I swear, it can't be contagious at this point! I've been sick for a week!". I hope it goes away soon....I am missing the gym and going stir-crazy!! Tonight I just took a bath, and I'm going to hit the hay early and try to sleep it off! I've been chugging the liquid (water and tea) - and hopefully will put this thing to rest soon! I haven't had a cold in 4 years, so I guess it was due. Boo. 

Thanks for all the wonderful comments ladies! 

I will get through this...

I made healthier choices today - albeit still not Dukan. I have a lot of thinking to do, and I know that I will get my brain straightened out - but my emotions are so crazy right now, and not even just about food. I guess it could be 'stress' that makes me fall hard. I hate to say 'stress' because I know I have it really easy compared to a lot of people out there. I hate feeling sorry for myself. But truth be known, I'm not that happy at the moment. On a second to second basis, if I'm distracted (be it through work, or friends) I am not unhappy. But a moment to myself and I feel like I've got a lot on my shoulders.

I'll wake up tomorrow, and try my best. I'm focusing on getting rid of this cough, and getting my energy back. That will be a good start. I walked 10K today. Another start. Tomorrow I have another crazy busy day at work and then hopefully things will calm down some. Hopefully.

I've been reading a lot about sugar addiction lately, and giving it up. What goes on mentally when one goes through it all. I've signed up to see this presentation by a well respected doctor  on giving up sugar. He's a psychologist who works primarily with eating disorders and diabetics. The presentation is on diabetes and how to approach eating. While I'm not diabetic in the least, or even heading that way (I hope!) - I think it will be an interesting talk on the subject, and something I may benefit from. That is not until May, but I'll keep you posted on that. I was talking about him today with a co-worker, and it turns out he works right down the hall from me, and I never knew! Small world.

Anyhow, going to have a healthy dinner, and take it easy. Another day done.

My hubby asked me to make a cheesecake this weekend, so maybe that will steer me in the right direction. Doesn't that sound odd??!!

Trying to Catch up with the Wagon

There reaches a time in every 'meal plan' I've ever followed, where I lose interest. I lose motivation. I lose that crazy sense of excitement that first entangles me. I always start out thinking, "I'm so going to do amazing on this. It completely works for me."

But the truth is, that feeling dissipates.
I get bored.
I start craving bad food.
Or maybe I start eating bad food, and then craving it.
Or maybe my existential angst kicks in, and I could really just care less about losing weight.
Or maybe I get comfortable, because I'm not that overweight, and I look OK.
Or maybe something limits me from working out (like a chest cold) and I go for the 'all or nothing' approach.

This is the point I'm at now. When did it start?
The scones I made, and ate two of?
The bagel (and ice cream) I had on Saturday? (funny side story - I went to run a 5K race but couldn't because my chest hurt so much. But I did make it to the carbfest reception!)
The grill cheese sandwich ?
The Diablo Chicken Sub from Subway?
The Bran muffin this morning?

I hope I'm not triggering anyone. This is my journal, and I have to get it out. The funny thing is, the actual foods I ate, aren't all that horrible, but VERY MUCH SO not Dukan friendly. And I haven't worked out since Friday (due to cold). I ALSO haven't weighed myself since then. That would just make things worse I think. I know I need to think about where this is all coming from. I feel like I'm on the verge of a binge. Or rather, I feel like I have been bingeing, which seems ridiculous when I look at the quantity, but it's the same emotions. And I also feel like raiding the cupboards and eating any carbs I can find; which are negligible as I've 'decarbed' my entire house for the most part.

My dear, dear husband is now cooking us some healthy turkey burgers - but he sees the pain in my eyes that really just want a big slice of chocolate cake, or oreo stuffed chocolate chip cookies. Raw. He sees that crazy look on my face.

All I can say, is at least I'm owning up to it, and holding myself accountable. We'll see if I can pull through this mess. I have to organize my thoughts and figure something out. While trying to at least go easy on my choices. I'll try. I promise.