There reaches a time in every 'meal plan' I've ever followed, where I lose interest. I lose motivation. I lose that crazy sense of excitement that first entangles me. I always start out thinking, "I'm so going to do amazing on this. It completely works for me."
But the truth is, that feeling dissipates.
I get bored.
I start craving bad food.
Or maybe I start eating bad food, and then craving it.
Or maybe my existential angst kicks in, and I could really just care less about losing weight.
Or maybe I get comfortable, because I'm not that overweight, and I look OK.
Or maybe something limits me from working out (like a chest cold) and I go for the 'all or nothing' approach.
This is the point I'm at now. When did it start?
The scones I made, and ate two of?
The bagel (and ice cream) I had on Saturday? (funny side story - I went to run a 5K race but couldn't because my chest hurt so much. But I did make it to the carbfest reception!)
The grill cheese sandwich ?
The Diablo Chicken Sub from Subway?
The Bran muffin this morning?
I hope I'm not triggering anyone. This is my journal, and I have to get it out. The funny thing is, the actual foods I ate, aren't all that horrible, but VERY MUCH SO not Dukan friendly. And I haven't worked out since Friday (due to cold). I ALSO haven't weighed myself since then. That would just make things worse I think. I know I need to think about where this is all coming from. I feel like I'm on the verge of a binge. Or rather, I feel like I have been bingeing, which seems ridiculous when I look at the quantity, but it's the same emotions. And I also feel like raiding the cupboards and eating any carbs I can find; which are negligible as I've 'decarbed' my entire house for the most part.
My dear, dear husband is now cooking us some healthy turkey burgers - but he sees the pain in my eyes that really just want a big slice of chocolate cake, or oreo stuffed chocolate chip cookies. Raw. He sees that crazy look on my face.
All I can say, is at least I'm owning up to it, and holding myself accountable. We'll see if I can pull through this mess. I have to organize my thoughts and figure something out. While trying to at least go easy on my choices. I'll try. I promise.
Maybe you need to add carrots or beets to your diet, so you have something a little sweeter. Also, are you getting enough calories? What about not enough fat, perhaps indulge in some almonds or walnuts? The past is the past, get back to a mini-attack phase, and continue. Perhaps with all your exercise, you might want to try what I am doing, which is only one PP per week.
ReplyDeleteI completly understand what you say. It is our addiction (no different than being an alcoholic). An alcoholic will always crave a drink but knows if he drinks he will go back to the destructive life. We are the same.... We need to get it into our minds that this is NOT a diet but a way we must live for the rest of our lives....Adapt new foods and recipes that fit the Dukan and try to live with them....Instead of thinking "Poor me" Think how lucky I am to be able to eat all I want of wonderful healthy foods.... It is hard, but something must be able to motivate you.....Good Luck
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments ladies. I'm still struggling and trying to get my head wrapped around this thing. I think there are changes that need to be made, but first and foremost is my emotions towards eating. I'm obviously not doing something right - whether it be something missing in my diet, or my complete addiction to sugar. But the support really helps, and may just be what gets me through!
ReplyDeleteHello! Its victoria here (from that forum...)
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean! I had a massive binge Sunday, like huge. Once I start I can't stop...literally. I had about 10 biscuits, crisps, cheese, sweets, chocolate...and...MCDONALDS!! i felt so ill after but couldn't stop myself.
anyway, that was Sunday, and I have only just got back to the weight I was a week ago. Looking back it really wasn't worth it in the slightest!
So, i'd clear your head and try and start again. Now i've had my binge I am more determined to stick to this bloody diet! Cannot wait for the celebration meals once I get to my ideal weight!
GOOD LUCK & STICK AT IT!! xxx
Thanks Victoria! Good to see you here! I'm glad you are back on track, I need to hear your words and do the same! I am good today so far. This being sick has really felt like a free ticket to do whatever. Tsk.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean! Well it is probably best that you get yourself well before you really get stuck into it again!
ReplyDeleteIt was weird, when I was eating EVERYTHING, i wasn't even enjoying it..was on auto-pilot! But remember, we are human, more to life than dieting! We just have to think how great we will feel when we get to target, and then we can start having a couple of nice things a week!
keep at it love! hope you feel better soon x