A Rough Weekend

Thank you everyone, for you concern. It means a lot to me. This past weekend was a rough one, and to be honest, I can't be sure it's over with yet. Things are pretty crazy in my life right now, and I don't see a positive calm in the very near future. But this is what life is all about I guess; the good and the bad.

To give you a quick (or maybe not so quick) run down....
As you know, last Thursday, we lost our family dog. This handsome, 18 year old beagle, belonged to my brother for quite some time now. My brother, is not exactly in a good mental state. About 10 years ago, he was diagnosed as having schizophrenia. He is quite functional, more than most people. He is healthy otherwise (again, more than most people), he is intelligent, and for the most part, you'd never know he was 'different' at all. He is unmedicated. Beyond all of this however, lay his strongest characteristic. He believes he is divine. He also believes that the world is coming to an end. Most of his thoughts are based on fact, or what many people claim to be fact (ie; he's not hearing voices in his head). He feels that most of us, are living with our heads in the sand (we are to some extent) and that if you are not poor and/or suffering, then you are ignoring the poor and the suffering. He is very confrontational when it comes to this, and has caused a lot of angst in many people. While I'd love to say that he is not suicidal, I'd have to say that he is (at least more than most people).

I love him dearly. I do not live close to him, but up until very recently, had kept close touch.

The death of his beloved dog did not leave him in a good place.

The following night, my mother was sent to emergency, and admitted to the hospital. She had contracted some sort of rare infection. As I don't live in the same city, I received very vague and ominous notification of this - of course, via facebook - from my brother. That night was spent trying to get a hold of anyone, and thinking the very worse, wishing it wasn't.

I got my wish. My mother is doing well, and returned home on Mother's Day evening. My brother, who is staying at their house, is very elusive and aloof. I'm really not sure what is going on. I feel very distant. I am concerned, but he is with family - and there is not much more I can do.

As for me, I'm counting my blessings, and trying to keep my chin up. I'm also trying to resist googling all the terrifying links my brother is putting up on facebook regarding our world's impending doom. I've been on the phone almost all day, everyday since Thursday, trying to be as close as I can to my family, without actually being there.

As for my diet? Well, it's been pretty terrible. Wrong choices, without care. I'm back on track today, for the most part.

My workouts - spot on. I've done my P90X everyday since I started. Today is day 9. I'm still aching from it, all over. Today was YogaX, which was very stress relieving. I really like the program, and it kept me sane, and allowed me to stay home all weekend by the phone. I do want to get running again soon, but it's been raining for the past 25 days straight.

Anyhow, thanks again for listening. I have been checking in on everyone's blogs, and happy to hear from all who commented and emailed. Thank you so much.